Friday, September 30, 2016

There is some sadness in my life.

I am sorry to say there is some sadness in my life.  A few weeks ago my Dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.  The Drs. should have caught this a long time ago and now I'm afraid it is pretty far advanced. A PET Scan on Monday shows cancer has spread to my Dad's spine.   I had to take an emergency trip up to northwestern NJ two Mondays ago.  I was at work and my Mom called and said my Dad was in the hospital and she didn't know if he would make it.  I rushed home, my husband, John rushed home, I packed our thing (I got home before John) and when he got home we took off.  Yes, we drove the 10.5 hours.  My Mom said she thought it would be better to drive and that Dad would probably be all right until we got there.  We arrived at 10:08 p.m. and much to our surprise my Dad was back home and sleeping in his bed.  He made my Mom promise as soon as we got there, she would bring us up stairs to see him.  He woke up when we went into the room and was greeted by a hug, a weak hug but a hug it was.  Now most of you don't know my Dad, but he is not a hugger or a person who shows affection.  This was totally out of character for him and made me even more anxious.  Then my Mom explained that he was on morphine.  That explained it all!  I am happy to say my Dad is still with us as I compose this post but my Dad is getting weaker and weaker.  He hardly eats or drinks and is now taking morphine and synthetic marijuana.  My poor Mom is tired all the time because she is taking care of everything and she has to wake Dad up at 1:00 a.m. to give him his morphine.  If she doesn't give it to him then, he is in pain later. 

My Dad and I have had a relationship that is up and down.  For a good many years we didn't even speak, but I have forgiven him for some horrible things he said and did.  My Dad is of German and Dutch descent and has a really bad temper, wants things his own way, doesn't believe in progressive into this century but he is still my Dad and I love him.  The last few years have been the best years we have had and now this happens.  Now that I have listed some of Dad's not so pretty traits, here are some of the things that is awesome about him: 

He is an accomplished woodworker.
He has restored many antique tractors and farm implements (this makes him the happiest man on earth).
He loves to read about things that happened years ago and that makes him really happy too.
He was an accomplished residential builder for over 50 years.
While he was building, he never wrote anything down, even when he was framing a house, he just knew the angles to cut and everything worked out wonderfully until he got sick with medicine induced Lupus and was forced to retire.
He always had a roof over our head, clothes on our back and food in our tummys!

What I guess I am saying is whenever my Dad's time on this Earth is over, I will miss him greatly!  Love you Dad!!

Dad and I when I was a baby (1959) with our dog, Lassie.

6 comments:

  1. I'm sorry to hear about your dad. It's very tough and surreal when a parent becomes very ill. Take care at this time. -Jenn

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  2. So sorry to hear about your dad, Sherri. I know how much you'll treasure the time you still have together, and will have many precious memories to bring you happiness when the sadness is overwhelming. I'll be saying prayers for your dad and your entire family.
    xo
    Donna

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  3. I will definitely be praying for your Dad as he faces the rough days ahead Sherri. I lost my Dad to the same type of cancer in 1976 - hurried home across the pond to see him in hospital, knowing it would be our last time to together. Pancreatic cancer often takes loved ones quickly as diagnosis comes late with no cure.

    I'm glad you have been able to see him and will have good memories despite having had some rough times.
    My thoughts are with you and your family.
    Mary x

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  4. I'm so glad you were able to get home and spend time with your dad, Sherri. My prayers are with you all.

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  5. I am very sorry to hear about your Dad. He sounds alot like my Dad...we also had a rocky road but in his last years we all got very close and were able to just be. I don't want to give you false hope, but my sister-in-law did survive pancreatic cancer and is doing well today. My prayers are with you and your family.

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  6. He was certainly a good looking young man. I'm so sorry for the pain he is going through. I've heard how devastating pancreatic cancer is. Your poor mom! Still... I'm glad you're having this time of farewell together. I wish it could be easier. We're all thinking about you.

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